Doggy Defence


Iritatingly, a dog has bitten a hole in one of my rear panniers. I have had to fix it up with the last of my duct tape, but it won't be so watertight now. It could have been worse. The delightful hound could have bitten my leg. So. Now I feel I need a weapon against "man's best friend". But which? This has been a favourite topic amoung cyclists so here are the options I've heard.

1. Squirt dog with water from your water bottle.

2. Hit it with pump, length of bamboo, truncheon, or bit of metal. (I'm keeping my eyes peeled for something suitable.)

3. Whip it with a horse whip or an old inner-tube.

4. Hit it with a machete (I know two cyclists who carry these). Perhaps more effective at getting the owner to control it, fearing the crazed gringo waving a machete around.

5. Shoot it with an air-gun, or a gun that fires plastic ball bearings (or an Uzi for all I care!!)

6. Mace it.

7. Zap it with a cattle-prod or a tazer.

8. Buy a Dog Dazer. A battery powered devise that emits a high-pitched sound that they don't like.

9. Throw rocks. I do this already. It's what the locals do so quite a good strategy. Sadly I don't have anywhere very good to store the stones and there isn't always time to pick some up.

10. Use physcology. Shout at it (suprisingly effective, especially if you use Spanish). For example "a tu casa!" Aim straight for it (dogs only attack from behind). Get off the bike (then it will recognise you as a human rather than a bike).

11. Ride the adrenaline rush and try and out run it. Not always possible.

Do you know something that works better?

Fiesta del Cruz: Sax

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As I was cycling along I came across some saxophonists and a bunch of locals dancing. They blocked the whole road so I had to stop and watch (which I would have done anyway). In quick succession I was commanded to down 3 shots of goodness knows what. Luckily it was only a short downhill ride to the town.

Made a quick recording. Here.

Road Songs

Following from my Dylan Lyrics post here are some more song lyrics that are ringing true for me at the moment.

First up,
Outlines feat. RZA -Now That I'm Free
Now that I'm on the road again
Got time to think about where I'm going
I couldn't think before
Now that I'm free
Open your eyes so you can see
Now that I'm free
I'm going to ask this world for more


Russ put this tune top of a playlist he made for me. I loved it straight away...

Gomez - Get Miles Away

Nick Drake - The Road
You can say the sun is shining if you really want to
I can see the moon and it seems so clear
You can take the road that takes you to the stars now
I can take a road that'll see me through


I learned to play this on guitar once and never really paid attention to the lyrics. But aren't they lovely?

Unlike the song of the same name by
Tenacious D
whose lyrics aren't.

The Black Keys -Have Love Will Travel

Steppenwolf-Born to be wild

Lemonjelly Ramblin Man

Back Door Machu Picchu

There are two very popular ways to get to MP. On the train and on the Inca Trail. Both are obscenely expensive. However, there is also a third way. Suitable for those with a taste for adventure, a tight budget or a penchant for the weird and akward.
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I began with a scenic cycle tour of the sacred valley with Mike. We whizzed by the various fortresses on the outskirts of Cusco and arrived for lunch in Pisac. In the afternoon we hiked up to see the terrific hilltop forts there. The next day we cycled to Ollataytambo where there are some more Inca Ruins. From here Mike headed back to Cusco and I headed on alone up to Abra Malaga, a 4316m pass. The views were amazing on the way up but then I hit a band of fog that sat on the hill. Soon after beginning my decsent down the otherside the stunning scenery reappeared.
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At dusk I arrived in Santa Maria, a small dusty town, and started looking for somewhere to stay. But before I could find my bearings, a lady swept me and my bike up onto a minivan to Santa Teresa. There I found a hostal without electricity and went to bed with a candle.
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I was dissappointed to discover that it is not possible to cycle "up to the front door" of Machu Picchu. But the alternative was good fun. First I had to get to the river Urabamba and cross it on "La Arboya" a basket on pulleys hanging off a cable. This was the stumbling block for the bike as the basket was too small. Then a 40min hike to the Hydro-electrico and another 2hrs along a railway line, with a roaring river and towering forested mountians, to Aguas Calientes. One you get to Aguas you back with the grockles. The next day, at sparrows fart, I hiked up to the front gate and spent the next few hours getting lost in the fog. But when it lifted...
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Machu Picchu has to be seen to be believed.
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I wrote this post during my bike trip in South America in 2010.
I now offer guided walks and walking holidays in the UK in Northumberland, the Pennines, the Lake District, Scotland and further afield.

I'm always keen for outdoor adventures to help people learn the skills to explore! My particular focus is mountain skills such as navigating with a map and compass and wild camping for expeditions.

Hotfoot Sightseeing

The best way to see the sights of a city centre is undoubtably on foot. But how to start? In my book it's a good idea to hit the ground running. In several cities I have headed off in the morning for a jog around the main tourist sights. It has to be the best way to get an overview of the character of a town.

In Cusco I decided to plot a route that took in 10 plazas. Each one joined together by picturesque cobble streets, flights of steps or narrow alleys. Running up the flight of steps to Santa Ana left my bent double gasping for breath. Running back down required care as many of the ancient cobble stones have been worn to a polish by countless thousands of feet. Here's the route.

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Beer (Part I)

Among the cultural differences of different countries, one of the first to be investigated is the beer. Bottoms up!

Argentina****
A good country for beer and barbeques.

Quilmes
***

The most popular beer in Argentina. Named after some ruins that Russ and I decided not to bother with as we were having a mare on a ripio road into a headwind. Reasonable enough lager. Coming across a shack of a farmstead, a beaten up Quilmes sign outside caught our attention. Soon we were offered a place to camp and homemade food and a trusty bottle of lager.

Salta***

An alternative lager. Similar to Quilmes in many respects.

Imperial****

Slight improvement on Quilmes and Salta. Bit stronger and crisper flavour.

Antares*****

Five stars don't get given out lightly. It is a dark porter with a toasted malty taste. Is it a cliché to describe it as chocolatey? Nice to drink something a bit English in the midst of all these lagers. I got one in a weird little campsite beside the river on the way to El Chalten. The place was run by a gang of hippies, with spacey ambient music, wooden cutlery and purple swirls painted on the cafe walls.

Chile***
Spending the festive period in Patagonia necessitated drinking quite a bit of Chilean beer. So I have a fondness for it.

Cerveza Cristal***

The most popular Chilean lager. Similar to Quilmes.

Escudo**

Refreshing but weak beer. Has a weird golden brown colour and tastes slightly bitter and grainy.

Kuntsmann*** (perhaps **** for the bock)

Example of the German influence on Chile and her beer selection. There are several types of these. I tried the bock and the lager. The bock was a nice caramel flavoured dark brown thing and the lager was just an average lager.

Cerveza Austral****

Made in the most southerly brewery on the planet, this is a better than average lager. Probably due to using unpolluted polar water.

Bolivia**

Bit of a let down in terms of beer but this is of little consequence in such a spectacular country. Made up for the lack of quality with quantity.

Huari**

Fairly rough but drinkable. This is what you get more or less everywhere. Nice label.

Potosína***

Maybe the best lager in Bolivia but that is hardly a compliment. In Potosí, where the brewery is, (no doubt the "highest brewery in the world") it comes out with an insane quantity of fizz.

Auténtica*

Revolting.

Paceña***

Made by Cervecería Boliviana Nacional, who also make Huari, this stuff is a tad better. It is supposed to be slightly more like a French lager but I didn't really get that.

Peru

It is too early to tell (so wait for Part II). So far I have only tried Cusqueña (maybe ***) which I have nothing against. It is an inoffensive and middle-of-the-road beer.

Cheers!

Juliaca to Cusco: Cicalistas en la berma

The sign read: CUSCO 244.60km. Such confidence to use two decimal places! I'd left Ayaviri and had put in sufficient distance to warrant a biscuit stop. Whilst I was sat leaning on a fencepost, munching away, swigging coke and reading, a cycle-tourer pulled up.
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Mike started his trip down in Puerto Montt and will finish, albeit a little reluctantly, in Cusco. We pressed on together with mountainous scenery on the horizon looming ever closer. Gradually, the road climbed and, by lunchtime, we found ourselves at the top of Abra La Raya: a 4338m pass. Here you can purchase a great variety of tourist-tat, listen to poorly played flute or take photos of a lady in traditional costume with a vicuna in tow. A bus load of tourists were hoarded out for these purposes. As we lunched we were pestered by a maniacally grinning barefoot village idiot.
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We rolled down the other side into a superb valley. Coming the other way we met four Ecuadorian cyclists. Their trip will take them from Quito to Iguazu. Along the way they are visiting the most dramatic waterfalls. Especially of interest for me were their homemade panniers made from old barrels. Very tough, very waterproof and very cheap, but perhaps a bit heavy. I am always impressed with the resourcefulness of South American cycle tourers. Basic mountain bikes, cobbled together racks but they are off and doing it!
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We turned up in Sicunai in the middle of a parade of school children, all in sports kit, blowing whistles as they were an army of tiny lunatic referees. Weird. We got a hospedaje and went out to get fried chicken and chips and be interrogated by a plastered Peruvian.

"Where are you from?" he asked us.
"England," we told him.
"Argentina?"
"No, England. In Europe," we persisted.
"Ah," he seemed to comprehend. Then, as an afterthought, he asked, "Where are you from?"

In the morning another parade. This time a mile long cacophony of those tuk-tuk type things, with balloons and decorations, all beeping their horns.
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More peacefully, our day's cycling took us through a valley of small villages with terracotta tiled roofs. The steep-sided mountains around us were lush green and here and there were signs that they were once terraced for agriculture. We had lunch in a cafe looking out on cobble streets and bell tower of a colonial church of the village plaza. Then we got ice-creams.
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Disappointingly, our downhill day was thwarted by a strong headwind. Nevertheless, we arrived in Urcos. Particularly nice was a bedsheet depicting an owl, polar bear, fox, leopard, seal and penguin. In the plaza we found a nice place with chicken being roasted over an open fire for dinner.
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With only a short hop left to Cusco we climbed out of town. We passed several more typically Peruvian villages. There was a lake where some children were rolling out clay into a frame to make tiles. Black smoke rose from a shack that presumably was a kiln. Goodness knows what they burn. Later we passed a curious structure, perhaps dating back to Inca times. I think it was an aqueduct but it may also have been some kind of fortification as it was at a strategic location close to Cusco and at the top of a small pass.
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Cusco is a big city. After passing the "Bienvenidos a Cusco" banner we still had another 40 minutes of cycling through suburbs and outskirts before we arrived in the historic centre. It started to drizzle. Pulling up in front of the cathedral we took photos in a brief respite in the rain and then went for a big pizza dinner.

For a different take on the last few days, a lot of terrific photos, and a rude comment about my hair...take a look at Mike's post.

Inca Kola versus Irn Bru



Ingredients
Irn Bru: Carbonated Water, Sugar, Citric Acid, Flavourings, Preservative (E 211), Caffeine, Colours (E110, E124), Ammonium Ferric Citrate (0.002%).
Inca Kola: Carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup, citric acid, sodium benzoate, caffeine, artificial and natural flavors.

Look pretty similar don't they? And they look similar. Irn-bru is a garish orange and Inca Kola a golden yellow. Their tastes are not a world apart either, both falling into the same category: grim sugary gunk. Inca kola wins hands down but soley on price.

Inca Kola is the best-selling soft drink in Peru. So, Coca-cola were naturally cheesed off at not having the top spot and bought 50% of the company. It was invented by José R. Lindley, from an English family, and was based on an ancestral Lemon Verbena drink.

Only one other country does not have Coke at the "Top of the Pops". Scotland, of course. Irn-bru was origionaly called Strachan's Brew until, in 1946, they were told it couldn't be called "brew" becasue it wasn't brewed. So they misspelt the name. The "Irn" bit come from the fact that the stuff was given away to Glasgow's iron and steelworkers by the gallon. Prior to this deal the steelworkers drank so much beer, because of the heat in the steelworks, that they were killing themselves off with alcohol poisoning. Recently, E110 and E124 have been banned in the UK, so Irn Bru are looking to find a way of getting the same insane colour another way.

The exact recipe of Irn Bru is, yawn, a closely guarded secret. In a bank vault in Switzerland. Only two people know it. Robin Barr, who mixes the syrup in a sealed room in Cumbernauld once a month, and another unknown other person. They are not allowed to fly on the same plane together.

inca kola billboard
Slogans
Inca Kola
El Sabor del Perú. (The flavour of Perú.)Inca Kola sólo hay una y no se parece a ninguna. (There is only one Inca Kola and it is like no other.)
Irn Bru
Scotland's other National Drink.
Bru'd in Scotland from girders.

inca kola
Nutritional Information
Irn Bru
Calories: 100
Sodium: 10mg
Sugars: 25g
Inca KolaCalories: 96
Sodium: 31mg
Sugars: 26g

I wrote this post during my bike trip in South America in 2010.
I now offer guided walks and walking holidays in the UK in Northumberland, the Pennines, the Lake District, Scotland and further afield.

I'm always keen for outdoor adventures to help people learn the skills to explore! My particular focus is mountain skills such as navigating with a map and compass and wild camping for expeditions.

La Paz to Juliaca: Into Perú...

It was fantastic to get out of La Paz and back on the road. Although, climbing back up to El Alto was knackering. Think the city-headonism took a bit of the umph out of my legs. Next problem was finding my way throught the honking minivans and crowded streets to find the right direction to Copacabana. After a while I gave up and had lunch at a roadside cafe. Even on my second go it took another hour or so to finaly get out of the sprawling mass.
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Once I was through that it was back to the typical altiplano scenery. Flat farmland, the cordillera blanca in the distance and the ocassional woman in tradditional dress walking past with some bulls. Sometime in the afternoon I had my first glimpse of Lago Titicaca. It's nice.
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After a pleasant campsite near a mobile phone mast, I hit a hilly section, a bit like the Scottish Borders. Then arrived at Tiquina where I had to take a barge across a bit of the lake. First I got a big lunch. The barge I was on appeared to have been knocked together by a deranged, coffin maker, with no sense of aesthetics, on a friday afternoon just before he clocked off. Somehow it stayed afloat, and I even saw buses on these things. The ten-year-old driving, very nonchalently, with the toe of his flip-flop, got us to the otherside and I was glad to be back on solid ground. Again I was reminded of Scotland as this part of the lake looks very much like the Isle of Jura.
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I stopped for the night in Copacabana and stayed in a hotel. My first time doing so. Very plush it was too. Cheaper than the hostal in La Paz too. What the hell?
mini rome?
In the morning, onwards. It was a very smooth border crossing because I arrived in the nick of time. Just before a bus load turned up and the queues rolled out the door. I wasted no time in scooting on to Pomata for lunch: fresh fried trout. I'm guessing not long out of the lake. Delicioso. I passed through Juli only briefly. It is supposed to be a mini Rome but looked pretty average to me. Then again, I'm not a massive fan of Rome itself.
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With the light fading I had to accept that I wouldn't make it to Puno and looked for a campspot. Acora turned up first with a real cheap dive of a Alojamiento. Ah, thats better! Three course dinner was a cyclist-friendly carbo-fest: pasta soup followed by a pasta and potato stew with rice accompanied by a bread roll. Then a mug of something hot and sweet and I was off to bed.

Today I nailed it to Puno and hung around a bit, got some lunch and then continued to Juliaca. Pleanty of daylight left but I decided to stay here for a good reason. The streets are frantic. More insane than La Paz. There'll be lots of street food, weird things going on and people shouting "Gringo!" at me. Perfect!

You Know You've Been on a Bike Too Long When...

A while ago, I visited Chaiten and the town had quite an impact on me. Bootsnall.com have been kind enough to publish an article I wrote about my experiences there.

Also, the next edition of the fantastic Adventure Travel magazine, out next week, includes an interview with yours truly. But in the meantime have a look at my article for their website. You know you've been on a bike too long when...